One of the more amusing things about the Inquirer is the stable of right-wing hacks that populate its op-ed page. Here’s a funny one from Jonathan Last. Headlined “GOP will unify as Obama and Clinton continue to vie”, Last claims:
John McCain: Only an act of God can stop him from winning the Republican nomination. In exit polls, he showed strength in all regions and across all bands – even among self-identified conservatives. Mike Huckabee: He has done more with less than any presidential candidate in the last 20 years. Elite conservatives in print, talk radio, and on the blogs spent a week trying to tear down McCain and present Mitt Romney as the conservative alternative. But Huckabee did almost as well as Romney, on a campaign so cheap it won’t run out of money. But he is going to run out of Southern states.
That must explain why Huck won Kansas by a landslide, squeaked by in Louisiana, and the results are still too close to call in Washington. How’s that “unifying” going, Jonathan? As for his growing strength among self-identified conservatives, McCain was roundly booed at CPAC, right-wing talk radio has been dragging the guy’s name through the mud for weeks, and influential theocrats like James Dobson won’t even consider the old man’s candidacy. You can’t blame Last’s unfounded optimism on the fact that newspapers can’t keep up with the 24/7 news cycle on the internet: some of these facts have been known for days, if not weeks. Last’s column is a classic example of “if wishes were ponies.” Here’s more:
Republicans: Here’s the good news: They’re going to nominate the guy who runs best against Democrats in every poll taken so far. Such “theoretical” matchups can measure two things: name recognition and solidity of a campaign. Forget name recognition: McCain, Clinton and Obama are all well-known. But McCain’s campaign is sound indeed. He will put immense pressure on independents and Hispanics. He should run extremely well with men. And his trump card is that he’s the only person in the race who was right from the very start on what should be the defining difference in the campaign: Iraq.
Never mind that he never gets to the bad news (or the fact that for the GOP, there IS no good news), “McCain’s campaign is sound”?? The presumed Republican nominee was roundly defeated by Huckabee yesterday in two states, and in Washington, with only a 2% lead (or less), the state GOP stopped counting with 87% reporting. “Sound campaign”? You be the judge. As for Iraq, McCain says he’d keep troops there another hundred years: “right from the start”? That’s not only hilarious, it’s
: regardless of how you feel about him, the only person in the 2008 race who was “right from the very start on what should be the defining difference in the campaign” is Barack Obama. Last claims, “The Republicans will begin mopping up and unifying the party over the next few weeks. The Democrats are in for a protracted and probably unpleasant fight that should go through April.” That’s just not going to happen. The coalition is busted, they’re out of money, and the NRCC is under investigation for misuse of funds. The right-wing bloviators have disowned Bush, and everytime he comes out an embraces McCain, it just makes the mouthbreathers angrier. The GOP is not going to unify anytime soon, despite Last’s optimistic predictions. But it’s fun to watch him flail.